Of Taxes & Dating

I received a mail from city of silverton (my humble abode). The letter read something like this…

“ Our records find that you have been in City of Silverton since Oct 2005, and you have not filed your city taxes. Failure to pay the returns by mm/dd/yyyy will attract penalties. Taxes are set at 1.25% of you annual income. Please reach us ASAP at this address”.

I found this letter particularly annoying considering I had already paid Cincinnati taxes (2% of my annual income). I always thought Silverton is a municipal within Cincinnati, why this taxes within taxes?
Secondly, Silverton is levying taxes for living in the neighborhood, I can concur with them if there were a fixed slab say $30 per month towards garbage collection, road maintenance, fire and other civic amenities including managing parks etc (most of which I don’t use). The question lingers..why a person’s salary should determine the taxes - specially when you are being taxed for a service ? Can somebody explain the differential in taxes to avail same service? Cost of service I always believed was determined by the market and not by what the user is willing to pay? Do we pay different rates for services like hair cuts…I don’t think we do ?

I had only moved Nov 2005 and not Oct 2005, so armed with my lease agreement I went to the office assuming I will end up paying for two months which would roughly be around 60 bucks (tops). The lady at the counter calculated my tax to 300 bucks. Stunned I said ma’am there must have been a mistake I was here in silverton since october and I guess my taxes would be in the range of 60-70 bucks. She gave a detailed calculation.
Taxes for 2005 @ 1.25% $60
Late fee $50 (late by a month, pls note my taxes are close to penalty)
Pro-rated tax for 2006 $230
A grand total of $340
Evidently the $230 is for next year (2006) and the lady had calculated the pro-rata on a half-yearly salary (based on W2 form). Not ready for this jutka I politely asked ma’am can I pay the taxes for 2006 next year? The lady who was very polite till then was even more polite in responding…’sire you have to pay your taxes in advance, that’s the rule’.
Me being smart (that I am) asked her.. ‘but what if my annual earning are higher than last year?’ The lady was even polite in answering … ‘your estimate can be off by 10%, so your prediction should be accurate otherwise you’ll be penalized’. By then I had noticed that the lady’s vocabulary revolved primarily around penalties, arrest, warrant, violation. However polite she sounded she always communicated this message clear and crystal - ’boss pay your taxes or end up in jail’.

By this time I had a big frown in my face, I asked her is there anything that you don’t tax? So far I have paid Social Security taxes, State Tax, Federal Tax…service tax and a host of other taxes which even our Finance Minister wouldn’t have thought about. The lady across the counter was spontaneous in responding – There are very few things that aren’t taxed … eg. Essentials (which classify as food), water and air fall under this category.

Voila… only three things? Two of them are already make it to endangered species list prepared by Mr. Inconvenient Truth. At the pace this man is going within 10 years water and air would be taxed. I guarantee you that…
Mr.Gore has problems comprehending simple facts. I think his arguments on glacial melt down in Greenland, Patagonia are not justified. Give me a break, you can’t show me black and white pictures taken 25 years back, and prove a climate catastrophe? Can’t you understand glaciers look different when seen black and white?

Sorry for divulging, but the lady at the counter sensing that I was withholding something asked me what would your salary be? Pls declare it upfront. So I said fine, here is my salary – she calculated the net tax which came to double what she had calculated before I was being smart. I am so so…frustrated….someone rightly said…’I could live without two things…Taxes & Meeting’. Having no other-go ..i shelved the dollars…owing to return back to home at least to save taxes.

Now the polite lady at the counter had some advice for me…when you get into a neighborhood young man you have to talk to people about the ‘TO-DO’ things. I said …. Ma’am I come from a third world country where we only evade taxes and to top it I don’t know anyone here. The moment I told this the lady was curious to know my where abouts, what I do (socially)?. I guess it’s written all over my face that I survive weekends on a heavy dosage of rented movies from Blockbuster. Sensing the imminent question I said….well I prefer to stay home. The lady was now amused … till now I had heard ‘all about taxing’ now…the topic turns to ..’all about dating’. After imparting some tips on dating, I have been given an assignment. Not only do I have to pay taxes, but I have to have some solid story to tell her coming october!!
If paying taxes weren’t hard enough I now have an assignment to go with it..too….
High time I change neighborhood.